ARB Mediation Services answers the need for a knowledgeable neutral who understands the unspoken messages and context inherent in communication. The business and legal communities of South Florida celebrate how diverse we are, and yet how similar, which is why you want someone with good relationship building skills who can quickly establish the trust necessary to achieve a resolution of the issues. Choosing a mediator, or any kind of arbiter of a dispute, is an important component of the settlement strategy. You want someone you can count on to treat your clients with respect, and maintain a level of dignity throughout the proceedings while still pursuing creative solutions.




Insights from a Good Listener: An Ongoing Blog


  • 28Sep

    When you speak, you tell a story to your listeners. Every story needs to have a beginning, a middle and an end. A climax and a finish. That way, your listener is clued in to what is going on and the story reaches a logical conclusion. The listener isn’t left hanging, waiting for whatever comes next. The best way to do this is to follow three simple rules: Say it; say it again; say what you said. This translates into; 1) Tell people what you are going to talk about, i.e. three main points; 2) make the points, embellishing on them to make them interesting; 3) review and sum up what you told them, and personalize your message.

    Now, you’ve made it easy to follow along with your story, your logic, and your conclusion. Your beginning sets the stage, introduces the characters and tells us where we are in the story. You bring us current, give the story a location and provide the placement of it within our lives. You’ve just set the context within which we will hear what you tell us.

     As you make your points, add sufficient detail to supply brush strokes to the characters or the information, but not so much as to drown out the storyline. Everybody needs to know why they are being asked to do something, as when you are explaining an assignment. You create efficiency by supplying knowledge of the bigger picture, and the way to do that is to supply the story, the context in which each person has a role and a function.

     Once you’ve told your story, focus on the main message, and review it with your listener. If you were asking them to do something, sum up the request. If you were thanking them, do so again, using different words if possible. And then, just finish. Do not keep rambling on because you can’t think of how to stop. Just stop speaking, nod your head, and know that you have successfully made your point.

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  • 10Sep

    There comes that time in mediation that calls for the moment of truth. That recognition that everything is on the line and here is where you are standing. Recently, that came down to the look in their eyes when they saw my hand make a circle to depict “zero”, repeated emphatically, to demonstrate where they actually were standing right now, not at the millions in the wife’s head.

    It helped that I had a senior company representative on the other side who gets ‘it’, who understood me when I said, “Find something to offer to him emotionally” and he did. He came up with back pay sufficient to reach the coveted 30 year mark at the company, complete with the ring, to allow this man’s service, and service to his country be valued.

    It almost didn’t happen. This ‘ginormous’ company’s in-house lawyer was so pessimistic about his client “budging on the numbers” that he had already hired a very successful, and awesome, local counsel to undertake full scale litigation. In truth, I used this fact as a very persuasive reason to settle, so it actually helped me get this thing resolved.

    Local counsel later let me know that the company’s lawyer was extremely complimentary about how I got the case settled, which is always nice to know. I like to leave both sides satisfied, if not with the amounts, then with being able to end it and reach a solution they can live with.

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